||attachment:splash.png|| attachment:name.gif Bon vivant and purveyor of fine animal flesh, Michael Payne is the life of any dinner party. As a door-to-door specialty meat salesman, Michael truly gets around. Whatever you need: goat testicles, sperm whale phallus, yes, even beef tongue, he has the highest quality in the state. As so many of his customers say, “You can beat his prices, but you can't beat his meat.” Michael started playing Rocky because he admired the character's open-minded gluttony during the dinner scene. “Rocky really knows how to enjoy a big hunk of meat,” he says. When asked if he himself would ever consider consuming `Roast of delivery boy', Michael refused to comment, but many believe that the proper marinade would sorely tempt him.